We at Scoff lightly strive to maintain an appearance of regard for our reader's opinions. In the interest of maintaining this semblance of interest, we hesitantly welcome your questions regarding Scoff Magazine and the lifestyle constraints of the Discerning Philistine.
Here are a few sample inquiries to guide your own:
Q: Does the Discerning Philistine have a life partner?
A: In many cases, yes. Our muse's girlfriend's poop smells like watermelons and she is 1,000 feet tall.
Q: Scoff has a muse?
A: Yes.
Q: I'd love to know more...
A: In due time.
Q: How many people does the Discerning Philistine's car accommodate?
A: About eight, legally.
Q: Is the selection process for these passengers grueling?
A: Yes, very.
Please send your inquiries to discerning.philistine@gmail.com. They will be reviewed with as soon as we please.
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