I was a BAD GIRL and spent my lunch hour shopping. You can spank me later.
(40 y.o. - leopard-print cell phone case. Also, this is over 10 words.)
Got a new showerhead — the detachable kind. The pressure's awesome.
(13 y.o. - sleepover dare txt. Pretends she knows what this means, is secretly confused as rest of assembled guests.)
There's a VIP-only party @ [fill in your address here] 2nite.
(13 y.o. does not know what 2 do w/ this template; sends as-is.)
TDTM (translation: text dirty to me)
(40 y.o. obviates slang with awkward explanation)
Don't do much @ the gym...save energy for L8R.
(Gross 13 y.o. txting gross boy w/ floppy/poofy hairdo, brown flip-flops)
Ur picturing me (a) naked, (b) in a Jacuzzi, (c) both
(13 y.o. - teens luv jacuzzis, want 2 party in them)
Was in such a rush! 4got 2 wear a bra.
(Either, liar)
Can I bring anything 4 our d8? Wine? Chocolate sauce?
(11 y.o.)
I'm in dressing room @ the mall...in a thong.
(40 y.o. & 13 y.o. trying on identical Juicy sweats; naughtily sending duplicate txts from adjoining dressing rooms)
Ur ass looks gr8 in those jeans.
(13 y.o. @ state fair 4-H livestock Costume Critter Contest)
I'll pole dance 4 you. U bring the pole...
(40, likes ethnic dancing, is embarrassed when b.f. arrives at dance studio fully engorged.)
Found my old cheerleading uniform. Still fits.
(13 y.o., meant to type "unicorn." T9 = whoops.)
My roommate is out of town. Let's throw a party tonight — for two.
(13, "roommate" = mom, party = toothy b.j.)
Splurged at Victoria's Secret. A girl can't have too many lacy panties, can she?
(40 y.o. misspelling "spooged")
No movies out I want to see. Other ideas for what we can do in the dark?
(13 or 40 - blind)
This link comes to you courtesy of The Very Hungry Caterpillar
2 comments:
Sometimes I forget and buy a Cosmo magazine, or pick one up at the gym, and then i remember how fucking stupid they must think I am and I get dangerously close to irate.
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